“I’m not making an impact, should I leave?”

As I talked about in my last post, the dissolution of traditional groups that were just small enough for people to feel like a community, and just large enough for people to feel as though they have purpose and can have an impact, these institutions being religious groups, political groups, and etc, today we find ourselves searching for a new place to belong. A place that fit all those requirements of the churches, but do not share the same religious background. And so millennials band together to form groups, but have trouble finding purpose, and so they decide that anybody that disagrees with what they are doing are misogynists, racists, outdated, or any combination of the three.

However, there is another aspect of this modern day problem. When millennials join a company, or maybe even a traditional church, they stay there for 6 months or however long it takes, and then decide to leave.

When you ask them why, they tell you, “I’m just not having an impact”, “I don’t feel like I fit in”, or “I think my calling is somewhere else.”

Millennials are eager to leave as soon as they arrived. They look at their environment, and after a certain amount of time, if they have not made the impact that they desired, if they have not fit in as they imagined, and if they have not found the purpose or made they changes that they thought they were going to make, then they think to themselves, this place is not for me.

This type of thinking is deeply narcissistic and deeply delusional, and is a byproduct of the everybody is special mentality.

The problem is that they blame their environment for all their problems. People have somehow forgotten that a big impact takes a big force. Meaning if you want to have a large impact, you have to not just work hard, but you have to work hard for a long time. If you want to have a great relationship, you need to build trust, and trust is not built over a single conversation. And if you want a build a team that trusts each other, think of how much longer that will take.

If you are not having the impact that you desired, the relationships that you pictured, or the perfect purpose that you imagined, maybe its not the environments fault, maybe its not the people’s fault, maybe its your fault.

Maybe you do not have the leadership skills.

Maybe you do not have the credentials.

Maybe you do not have the know-how.

Maybe you were just too cocky, and thought too much of yourself.

Maybe it takes 10 years to have the kind of impact that you want.

So many people are leaving churches, because of the same reason millennials are leaving companies. You guys only meet 1-3 times a week. And how much time do you guys spend to actually know each other?

One of my closest friends, we made time to meet each other almost every weekend, and we would spend 3-4 hours just talking to each other. It is much more difficult to talk for 3 hours straight than to talk to  someone for 1 hour 3 times. And we did that for almost 2 years.

Millennials have made one crucial mistake. We have mistaken movement for progress/purpose. Maybe purpose is found in just staying where you are. Maybe leadership, impact, and purpose are not things that are just given to you when you arrive at a company, but something that you have to work your ASS off for. Maybe you actually have to earn people’s respect and trust in order to lead them to have the type of impact that you desire, who knew?

We should have been taught, “not everybody is special, but you can be if you work your ASS off”

Don’t leave. Work your ass off for a couple of years, do everything you can, be introspective, and once you have the full picture, then you can decide whether you should leave or not.

Check yourself.

It’s that simple,



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