If you guys have been following my blog lately, specifically my last 2 posts, then you know I have been talking about choosing friends, leaving friends, and just being honest to your integrity and how you feel overall. The thing about acting honestly is that the more you do it, the more clear your perspective on life becomes.
When I left the cool kids group and joined the weird kids group, I realized that being a cool kids was fucking boring, and that the weird kids were the ones that were more honest to who they were, and therefore much more enjoyable to be with.
When I left my friends, I had to swallow the honest pill, and understand that the reason I never left my friend group was not because I did not know that I was not a necessary member of the group, but that I already knew, but I was too afraid to leave and try to make other friends. And after doing so, I realized how mentally oppressive and depressing a situation I was in, and how being out really opened my eyes to possibilities.
Fast Forward a year after my senior year, and a lot of things will have happened.
I am no longer living by myself, and now for the first time in my life, I am living with a roommate(although it was my aunt).
I would have gotten after all of my dreams(the ones I had back then).
I would have read more than all of my life combined.
I would have also stopped talking to all of my friends.
Reading is like adopting the perspective of the reader. Gaining new perspectives is crucial to having a successful life. One of the authors that I was reading was Tim Ferriss, and I adopted a lot of his teachings, but one of the ones that I took very seriously was the quote, “You are the average of the 5 people you most hang out with”.
As I started to improve myself, and make great strides in improvement, there was one thing that I realized about the people around me. Nobody else was improving. I was alone in this effort. They were all just trying to get by, have fun, and basically, just survive.
If you do not think spending an hour or two with someone on a continuous basis has an effect on you, then you are crazy. A lot of times, the biggest thing that is holding a person back from self-improving is the person’s parents or friends that won’t let them go. Like crabs in a bucket, they will pull each other down, so that no one can get out.
I took the advice to heart, and during a time when I was pursuing a career in acting and modeling, in order to pursue my dreams more seriously, I cut out 80% of the time that I hung out with them, and started to make new friends that were similarly minded to self improve.
Was it lonely? In a way.
Was it hard? No.
Was it worth it? Absolutely.
If you have toxic people in your life. Get rid of ’em. Period. There is no debate, negotiation, or middle ground. If someone is dragging you down, that is unacceptable. And if you allow them to keep doing it, then you are only hurting yourself and that other person, because you are reinforcing their behavior.
You are the average of the 5 people you most hang out with. Live by the quote.
It’s that simple,