In my high school years, I had a group of friends that I stuck with ever since I was in middle school. In middle school, I had a bit of a rough patch with them, where they did not really like me. It was not everyone in that group, but enough for the people that did like me to get peer pressured. However, there were friends in that group that stuck up for me, and I love them for it.
However, after a while, things began to be okay, and I started to belong. I was a part of my friend group.
I sat, ate, and hanged out with this group for the first three years of high school. However, during my senior year, everything changed for me. I was homeless the summer vacation, and I was living by myself.
I started introspect intensely, where I would write for pages upon pages in my journals. It was a time where I questioned everything, and I tried to learn as much as I could about myself, about my problems, etc. And as I did this, I started to wake myself up, and notice things that I never had before.
And so, the first weeks of school, during lunch period, where I would go to the usual meeting spot of my friends, a classroom, I noticed something, something that I always knew, but never did anything about. I still did not belong. I was friend, but I was not needed. Meaning, in their minds, I was not a necessary member of the group, more of just accessory that was funny and tough sometimes.
And at this point in my life, I had enough of taking shit from people, and so I started to take initiative. And I’m sure you guys know where this story is headed, I left.
I realized that I knew how unneeded I was in the friend group, but I was just too afraid to leave to do anything about it. After going through all the shit that I went through, I told myself that life was too short, and let me tell you what leaving my friends felt like.
It was awesome.
I told myself that I would go wherever the hell I wanted to go, hang out with whoever the hell I wanted to hang out with.
I had so much fun. Sometimes I would play chess for a couple of weeks. Then I would hang out with some other kids, then some others, and others.
I like to say that I was something of a nomad during this time period.
It was a very powerful decision that shaped who I am today, because I realized that I have the power to choose who I let into my life. A quote that I live by is, “You are the average of the 5 people you hang out with most”.
And maybe a year or two later, I would start cutting out 80-90% of the people in my life, because I realized that they were toxic or had some quality that I knew was going to drag me behind. I’ll save that for next week, but that also changed my life entirely.
If you hang out with people that do no think you are necessary for the group to be a group, then leave. Why wouldn’t you leave? Life is too short to be a side character. BE the goddamn main one. Wander and improve on yourself, until you find a group that you can be a core part of.
It’s that simple,
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