I am a friend that is willing to give up the friendship in order to tell you the cold hard truth. I am not a person that cares about being supportive in times when you need to be criticized.
I had to rebuke a friend of mine yesterday. He was producing work that was very sub par, and it was clear to me how little respect he had for me and himself. Now a lot of times, when things like this happen, people will be supportive, and then try to cheer the person on to try again. I do not believe that this is the right thing to do if the person is your friend.
If you are the person’s friend, a title that I do not take lightly, I believe that it is my personal responsibility to make the individual a better person. I believe that is my highest responsibility, and maintaining the relationship is an easy second to that.
The only way to accomplish being able to call out your friends, be honest about their wrongs, and telling them to their face, is to be content with yourself. You have to be perfectly content with being alone and not having friends. This is not an easy thing to do, and if you do not do this, but you try anyways, then one of two things shall happen.
- You try to call them out, but you do not have the conviction in your body language or in your voice, and you will not be taken seriously.
- You look for things to call people out on, due to a selfish desire to rebuke.
The second option is more common than you might think. Rebuke has always been a sign of virtue, and so people today always look to rebuke people, because it reflects onto them a sign of virtuousness. This is why you get social justice warriors screaming on top of their lungs phrases that they do not truly understand, because it makes them feel important.
You have to make sure that when you are rebuking someone, you are rebuking them for them, not for yourself. One is an act of mercy, the other is act of selfishness.
I am perfectly content by myself. This is because I work on myself, I force exclusion onto myself to self improve.
Do not rebuke for the sake of rebuking. Rebuke for the sake of the person.
It’s that simple,