There seems to be a significant enough portion of my audience that has been through hell. I have had enough interactions with my simpletons, where it seems that it is a common theme amongst my viewers. I am sure that the topics of my videos, as well as their content attract people in pain, but I feel as though I have not paid the delicate attention that it deserved.
It is strange how my pain seems to have other people’s pain, but it is a burden that I am grateful to bear.
Whatever amount of pain you have in your life, the first key is knowing whether the pain is in the past, present, or future. I shall be going over the respective things to do in order.
If your pain in the past, then that means that you have not fully learned the lessons that you were suppose to learn. Which means, you have to deal with the pain, and resolve it, so that you can finally move on.
This is something that I am doing right now currently with my father. The way that I am going about it is dissecting everything that happened between us, and it is amazing how much of the lessons that I needed to learn, I skipped over. I want to say that I probably missed 90-99% of them, and I am sure it is going to be the same with you.
The reasoning for this is obvious, the pain that we felt when the events occurred has scarred and given you ptsd, so you have trained yourself to not explore it. However, life is stronger than you, and it will keep coming back up until you deal with it. It is easier to kill the dragon when it is a baby, then when it is two stories tall and can breath fire.
If it is in the present, then you have to deal with it now. Everyone of your actions have to be towards resolving that issue. If it is about a job, somewhere that you are trapped, but you need the money. Make a timeline of 10 years, and predict where you will be. Will you be sane? Would you be better off in that job? Would you even get a promotion? Do you even want one? After doing that, make another timeline of 10 years, but now, picture doing the things that you want to do. I got this trick from Jordan Peterson, and these are your basic representations of Heaven and Hell. This will wake you up, and really see your priorities.
If it is a person, then there is another distinction that needs to be made. Can you let them go? The reason for this is, you have to make it clear to them that if they keep acting the way that they are acting, in a way that is keeping you in pain, then you will leave them. And you have to mean it. Because if you stay, then you only reinforce their bad habits, meaning, you are part of the problem. It is hard for people to swallow this information that they are contributing to their own hell, but it is absolutely true once you take a step back and see from an outsider’s perspective.
Now if they are family, then you still threaten, but with as limited interactions as you can. You can not let them get close, if they do not respect what you say. Not because it is mean, but because you make it worse by not living to your word, and just reinforcing their bad habits. You have to give them real consequences, not just for you, but for them as well.
Now, if it is in the future, then the answer is easy. . . prepare. Too many of us have huge things that we stressed about, get anxiety over, but we do not do anything until the last minute, because of how large it seems in our head. This is a simple trick that I got from Tony Robbins, but it has helped a lot, when I remember to actually do it haha.
Close your eyes and picture the big project, or whatever it is that is causing your anxiety. Make the picture as clear as possible, give it movement, give it color, make it as vibrant as possible.
Now, make it black and white.
Shrink it. Zoom it out of focus so that you can’t even see it any more. Make it so tiny that you can’t even worry about it anymore. Then imagine that you are holding it in your hand, and you throw it into the sun, and it burns up.
Open your eyes, if you have done this correctly, without being skeptical, and actually trying, your anxiety about the project should have decreased immensely. The biggest reason we do not produce our best works with big projects is because we blow them out of proportion in our minds, and get in our own ways to producing quality work. Shrink it back down to size, and just get it done.
The basic response to pain is either inaction or bad actions, but all lead to self-destruction.
The correct response is strategic action. Actions that you have thought out to make your life lead more towards heaven then hell, and correcting course along the way. There will be times when you miss the mark, that is ok, it is suppose to happen. Just readjust, and start again.
If you have pain, do not let it linger, deal with it. Life is too short to just live in pain.
The next post, I shall continue talking about pain and language.
It’s that simple,