I was on and off with a person for the past couple of months. We started off with a close connection, but as miscommunication occurred over and over, our friendship began to dwindle, and ultimately die.
I still wanted to be friends with the person within this period, and so I kept reaching out to them to try to rekindle that connection. And by doing so, all I have done was make the situation from better to worse. And I do not want to paint myself in a righteous light, because I have certainly made some huge errors, like really stupid and funny ones.
However, I was able to gain a sense of closure recently, and it was quite nice.
I reached out to them a final time over text, and my plan was to meet up with them to make amends and then finally say goodbye for the last time. But they were even against that.
He had painted me in such a negative light in his own head, and he blamed me for all the problems that occurred between us, as well as said that I hurt him.
Now of course this was a lie, but instead of correcting what they said, I just accepted and moved on, and tried to move towards setting up a time to meet up. The bottom line is, we never did.
It was obvious how his trust issues and past traumas have disoriented his view of the world, and has trapped himself into a sort of victim mentality of him vs. the world. It was quite sad to see how he had shifted the blame around me, and although it did bother me, I was okay with it because I knew the truth.
Now you might be asking where the closure is. The closure comes from the fact that the last impression I made will be a calm and collected one. I did not disrespect the person, I did not retaliate, I did not make any mistakes, I was just calm, collected, and true to myself.
I always say that the first person to get angry loses. And in this game, I did not lose myself to my emotions.
Of course, I wish nothing but the best for this person, but I have been flatly rejected by them when I was at my best.
And so, I feel fine. Wondrous even.
Life is good.