How did I gain my confidence?
It first started my sophomore year of high school. During the summer break between my freshmen year and my sophomore year, my aunt bought me new clothes, and basically revamped my fashion. And for the first time in my life, I looked fashionable. My clothes were nice, I had more than one outfit. I wasn’t dependent on t-shirts and jeans to be my only look. And I was able to strut around with true confidence for the first time ever. And for the first time in my life, I noticed that girls were checking me out. They were actually looking at me with interest. It was a mind blowing experience, and so I was that added even more to my confidence.
However, clothes became to define who I was. In other words, my confidence, how I felt was dependent on how I looked. Now ladies, a lot of you may sympathize with this because of the similar effects of makeup, and so I advise you to listen closely. In a very weirdly lucky way, I was forced to relinquish all my clothes, everything that made me feel like I was good looking or attractive because I became homeless. I was forced back to square one. And of course I felt naked and ugly, and all I wanted to do was go back and buy new clothes, but because I could not afford to waste money on such commodities, I had to find another way, and that was books.
I began to read and read. I wanted to figure out what makes a man truly confident. How do I become someone like James Bond, Sherlock Holmes, or even Goku? And slowly but surely, my life changed from trying to become confident to learning skills.
This is when I learned how to talk to women, how to cook, how to act, how to speak other languages. And now that I look back, I realized I was doing something quite amazing.
You see, back when I was in high school, I based my confidence in the material, things that could disappear any moment.
But after, when I focused on myself and learning, my confidence was based on the things that I learned, things that no one could take away. Things that would last forever.
So, if you want to be truly confident. You have to base your confidence on things that you can take with you anywhere. You have to base it on things that no one can take away. You have to base them on yourself.
So if you’re a girl, and you can not feel confident without a “cute outfit” or without having your makeup done, then I have a simple tip for you. I’m not saying that you have to cut out fashion or makeup all together. But I am saying that you should put in effort to diverge your sense of well-being, your sense of confidence away from make-up or fashion, and onto your inner self. You should learn a few skills, learn a language, Learn how to dance. Do some ballet or ball room. It doesn’t matter. Learn the things that will make you feel accomplished. Because once you accomplish those skills, no one can take those accomplishments away from you.
The same goes for guys. Don’t depend on doing the trendy thing to fit in. Be the person who you want to be, so that you will be satisfied with yourself, and not feel like that you are missing out, and therefor not cool. True confidence comes from the self acceptance that comes with accomplishment. I am not saying that you should love yourself for who you are. That is too generic. What if you are an awful person. What if you have bad habits like overeating, smoking, or anything else. Don’t love yourself. Become the person that should love themselves.
It’s that simple.