A close friend of mine has been in and out of relationships for as long I knew him. He would always have a girlfriend. And whenever he broke up with his girlfriends, he would feel insanely lonely. And it became a habit for him after a breakup to immediately find another girl. I do not know if this is right or if it is wrong, but I assume that a major reason for his expedited transitions is due to the fact that he is deathly afraid of being by himself.
The worst part of a breakup is the loneliness. The nights where you miss your partner so much that you can’t sleep, that you can’t breathe, that you can’t think. But I believe that it is in our most darkest times that we find the brightest light.
I am strong, but my strength came from the times when I was very weak. The times when I felt utterly hopeless and wished nothing but an easy way out. The times when I was homeless, when I was beaten and abused, those perils left behind a skin of iron and steel.
And so, that is where I am right now. I feel so alone. I feel so desperate. Every fiber of my skin wants to go back and make myself feel better. But I know that there is not growth in giving up, and so I choose to stick through this.
I need to see what I am made of. I need to see how far I can push myself. The past couple of months I have been focused solely on pushing myself physically. Now I am going through an emotional hell. You always have a choice. You choose to be weak, but you can also choose to be strong.
“Do not pray for an easy life, but instead, pray for the strength to endure a hard one.”
It’s that simple,