How You Change: What being a player has taught me.

I remember a time when I was able to just date whoever I wanted. I was a bit of a player, and I just wanted to have fun. And back then, breaking some hearts just seemed like inevitable collateral damage. And for the sake of having fun, it was just something that I came to terms with.

And for maybe a year or so, that is what I did. I had fun, and a lot of it. Now, a lot of girls are going to be disgusted and angry, but I do not regret what I did. Learning how to talk to women and earning their hearts, however fun, has molded me into who I am today. But the strange thing is that I am no longer that person, by being that person, I grew out of him.

If you were to rewind to a couple months to a year ago, I was still that guy. But today, I can confidently say that I am no longer him. I guess I have gotten softer. I can no longer just play with a girl, have my fun, and just leave. To many of you this may seem idiotic and downright chauvinistic, and you’re right, but don’t let that prevent you from learning something. The way I saw it was like a fight. If flirting and dating was a fight, then learning how to play the game, was like learning how to fight. And if you know how to fight, then why would you not use what skills you have gained.

To make a bad metaphor worse, imagine that most individuals are people that have never learned how to fight in a dating sense, but get into fights almost everyday. And all they do is just start wailing their fists in every direction hoping to get a knock out punch, and that is what is honestly feels like when I see some people.

However, today I feel like the retired boxer that knows how to fight, that has had his share of glory, and is now satisfied and has nothing left to prove. And so whenever I start playing the game with girl, I find myself unable to use everything, because it’s not fair, and it’s not right.

By being heartless, I have gained a heart. And that is how life works, the way to attain is to not want at all in the first place. Life has a way to bringing things you don’t want to your life, and so the secret is to play on its terms.

It’s that simple.


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