These past couple of days, a friend of mine has been posting very poetic, and at the same time, macabre posts on facebook. And although I figured what was going on through its content, I still had to know for sure, and so I asked him. It turns out that his father has cancer, and his doctors told him that he only has a week left. Fuck. What do you do? What do I say?
Those questions were running on repeat in my head while we were messaging each other. And then another thought came up. I haven’t talked to this guy in years, and the one time I do talk to him, it is because his father is dying of cancer. He was always a nice person, and he never really wronged me. I use to be best friends with his younger brother, but as time passed, we lost our ties to each other. I hate how it takes death to put things in perspective for me.
So what do you do? What do you say? The answer is simple; do/say what you can. Let the person you are trying to help know that you are there for them. Tell them you will be there to talk when they are ready to talk. Help them with their chores, cook for them, do whatever you can to let them know that they are not alone in a time where they feel the most isolated, and when they themselves will choose isolation.
- Be the friend you should have been.
- Be the voice of comfort you could have been.
- Be the person you can be.