We often take each other for granted. We get comfortable by our relationships, and in a moments notice we can flip on each other in a turn of rage. And in that moment of anger, we forget the history that we share with one another, because anger is a blind. We forget how we laughed and loved one another, and all we focus on is the small mishap that has enraged us.
We should be grateful for the fact that we have someone to get mad at. Someone that means so much to us, someone we have opened ourselves up to such an extent that we have become vulnerable to the smallest of things. However, just as the misuse of anger reveals the strength of the bond, it also reveals the wide chinks within the armor of that very friendship.
Anger has been something that I have been dealing with for the entirety of my life. Ever since I was a boy, I would get mad over the smallest of things, and this was because I took life all too seriously. And this trait of over-bearing seriousness has been an issue throughout my life. Since I take life so seriously, it is difficult for me to take jokes at my expense, and I find myself getting easily offended by the most subtle off-hand remarks. I find that I require a practice of letting go, in order to somewhat ease or release the vice-grip I have on life. I shall reveal to you this practice, but allow me to tie the two ideas I have presented together.
The anger and the friendships are tied by the misinterpretation of the present moment. We mistake each others ignorance or goodwill for malice. So here are a few things that I remind myself whenever I find myself allowing anger to seep through.
- He/she is not trying to hurt you.
- You are human.
- One up the joker(make a joke about yourself)
- Just laugh
- Shake it off.
All of the steps have different functions. The first step is to accomplish a level of logical understanding. To remind oneself that we mistake ignorance for malice, and that people are just either for themselves, or do not know what weight the words that they say mean, and do not mean to impose or hurt you.
However, we are not spocks. Logic often fails to move us, and so that is why I have steps 2-4 in place. I first humble myself(step 2), so that I can imprint more easily on myself the thoughts and steps that will follow. I then try to make light of the situation, which makes me even more imprint-able. If you make light of the situation, you solve the biggest problem-being too serious. And then the fifth step, which is the most important, and the most fun-shake it off.
Sometimes I actually listen to the Taylor Swift Song . Shake you shoulders, and just let it go. It is very liberating, and it feels great~
I hope this helped, remember to stop taking things to seriously, and most importantly, Let’s keep it simple~