It feels good to hate. It’s comforting. Comforting in the way that you can blame someone for all your problems. You can blame someone for the ways that you messed up, and are problematic and insufficient. Hate turns things into simple and unchanging outcomes.
"Because of him/her, I am this, and will be like this forever.
And the thought of forgiving turns our stomachs, makes us sick, destroys us. How could we? How could we liberate the person we hate after what they have done to us?
Well… that’s the thing. Forgiveness is not for the other person. It’s for you.
You see, hate is nothing but a ball and chain. You feel like you are in control because you project the emotion out onto the individual, but in reality, it is the individual that has power over you. Let me show you how.
If you were in a good mood, and you were having a good time with a couple of your friends, would you stay in a good mood, if the person you hated walked in? If not, my friend, you are not in control. You have imprisoned yourself in a hate-filled cage. And the saddest part is, you have the keys to get out.
And yet, we choose not to…why? It is because we love to hate. Because in that moment we are righteous, in it is addictive. We have been wronged, and the image of the martyr, the victim, in some sick way, is comforting. And in the way that it feels good to hate, we destroy ourselves through the immobility and self deprecation that it brings.
Forgiveness is not for the other person, it is for you.
Stop wasting your time feeling bad for another person, groveling at your own feet, at woe of what has happened to you. Life is too precious to waste its moments feeling sorry for yourself. Let go of the hurt, and I promise you will feel exponentially better, and most importantly, free. So let’s get out of our cages, and walk around as free men and women, where we no longer give anyone the permission to have power over us. Forgive.