If there is one thing I hate in life, then it is helplessness. I want to figure out what helplessness is, and where it comes from. When someone is helpless, it is not because they are literally incapable of doing something, but rather, they choose to believe that they are incapable of a feat. They do not even begin to search for an answer, if it is not obvious, and right in front of them.
Learned Helplessness vs. Belief
So how do we destroy this behavior? Well the best way to get rid of a bad habit is to replace it with a good one. However this habit is founded upon one’s beliefs. The behavior stems from the habit more directly than other behaviors(for example; someone could be fat because of their beliefs, or lack of education in health and diet).
So we will have to change their beliefs. Easier said than done. Like I said in my previous posts, a belief is basically a statement or question attached with discovered evidence. And so the answer is simple, we just need to show him/her that they are capable. . .a lot. They have to begin to search for evidence that tells them that they are capable, and that the sky is the limit.
Some possible ways to ease the process~
- make them solve simple problems that increase in difficulty(chess challenges, puzzles, etc.)
- make them learn how to cook(immediate feedback when it comes to cooking, and if they keep going, they will also gain the facet of perseverance.)
- Whenever they say they can’t do something, always tell them that they can.
- Show them this post, or tell them a summary(winky face)
- encourage any behavior that is innovative or creative by nature.
Whatever you do, you need to be supportive and persistent. However old the person you’re trying to help is, that age is the amount of years of evidence they have that tell them they are helplessness. So you have to be patient when trying to help them. It might take you months before you see any hint of progress, it doesn’t matter, keep going.
Things not to do
For the love of god, do not reprimand them when they are helpless!!! You do not enact change in someone by belittling them. You can not force someone to drink water, you have to make the water seem as appealing as possible. The same is true if you want to create lasting change.
Whether this change be for you or for someone you love, no one should go through this life thinking that they are incapable, when in reality they have an infinite potential.