Now most people get into a relationship unprepared and unknowing of how to communicate as a couple. If you were to take away one thing from this article, please let it be this.
You are a team.
Now if I haven’t lost you yet, and you aren’t the 99.9% of the people that read this, that thinks they only need that one take away, well. . . I’m glad you’re here.
Being a team implies couple of things. If you have the correct team mentality, then everything you guys do should be for the better of the team. And since it’s only you guys in the team, this should be fairly easy if you guys are intimate and communicate.
Being a team also guides communication. We all know how important communication is, but most people never learn specifically how to. And the biggest source for curiosity must be how to communicate during a fight.
Well here are some principals to follow.
- Know with your entire being that whenever you are hurt by your partner, your partner did not mean to hurt you. Do not ask yourself “Why is he/she trying to hurt me?”, “How could he/she do that to me?”, and “Does she not care about how I feel?”.Whenever your partner does help you, most of the time it is because they were trying to protect themselves from something. Do not make it about you. Do not make yourself the victim. Accomplish this and it will be much easier to communicate effectively.
- Say sorry first.
You guys are not fighting to win. You guys are fighting for the relationship. Say sorry first, lay down your pride. Make it a game with your partner. Who can say sorry sincerely first.
- Finally, the best way to prevent a giant fight, kill it when it’s a baby. If something is bothering you, don’t let it fester within until it becomes an undeniable problem. As soon as something becomes a problem, tell your partner with the mindset that it is for the relationship, and try to discover what your problem is.
And if that’s too much, here is something more simple.
The Good Bf/Gf List.
So a lot of us are confused by our significant others when it comes to what makes them happy and feel loved. Well this was my solution to exactly that. So basically, you make a list of 3 things that if your partner did these 3 things everyday, it would make you feel loved and cared for. And if your partner is doing these three things, he/she can feel content in knowing that they have been a good gf/bf that day.
So here is example of a list I made for my gf, and I think it is important to note that these lists can change. I have already changed it with my girl, because I am doing this for her. If the list she made had somethings that were not as important as she originally thought they would be, she is welcome to change them. I want her to be happy, and I want to have an easy outline, win-win.
- Text her randomly
- 10 second snapchat
- Say one good thing about myself.
Just remember you guys are a team, and everything you do should be for the team. Fight for the team.