Being Afraid of Helping Yourself

I had a very deep conversation with two people last night. I asked them the question, “Which parent’s love did you crave more?” (something I got from a podcast episode with Tim Ferriss and Tony Robbins), and one of the guys I was talking to said something very thought provoking.


He was afraid to deal with the personal issues that he knew he had, because he was afraid to realize the ugliness that dealing with his issues would force him to see. The even more obvious, and yet, thought provoking idea was that he was afraid dealing with his problems would reveal to him other overlooked, neglected issues that he would have to deal with.


It never occurred to me that people could be afraid to deal with their problems because they don’t want to accept the idea that they are broken, or that they are more broken than they perceive. Whenever I had to fix something about myself, I would just go at it. I never had this fear, because I always knew that I wasn’t perfect, and that there is always something to improve.

The Take Away

The danger of this fear is the obvious weakness that is implied within the fear. If your sense of happiness, the expectations you have on reality, and your sense of self is destroyed by the realization that you are broken, then your sense of self, your happiness is cheap. And that fear is all the more reason to change, to look within and become more. But there are certain precautions that one should make.


Constantly looking at what is wrong with you is a sure fire way to destroy your ego, and can easily lead to depression. So what should we do?


Well, what is wrong is always available, but so is what is right.


You can improve upon everything, but some attributes of yours are already at a proficient level. That is where your sense of self, your ego, your happiness should lay.


Also, look around you, and find what you can be grateful. It is impossible to be depressed, angry, or any combination of the two, AND be grateful at the same time. Give yourself the gift of gratitude while you are improving upon yourself, and you will reach a level of happiness that you will not believe.


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