As I am writing this, I am officially in a long distance relationship. I just came back from the airport and I had to say goodbye to my significant other.
It is not easy for me to cry. I find it very hard to cry, and when I want to cry, I just can’t. When I know I should cry, there is some sort of psychosomatic barrier that prevents my tears. And for the longest time I accepted the fact that I just could not cry.
I broke a long streak of tearless eyes today(this post was not released the same day, winkyface).
However, as the tears started to well in my eyes, I could not help but notice the beauty, the serenity within the moment. The juxtaposition of sadness and mindfulness created some sort of aesthetic inspiration. However outdated the philosophy may be, I was happy within my sadness.
And so here is my take, what I learned from the experience. Do not fight the tears. Embrace them. If you cry, be happy because it shows the relationship you have created, and how dear that person has become.
The moments where I tried to make her laugh when we were both sitting down, waiting for the clock to hit 5:45, or when I blew kisses to her when she was a whole floor above me, or even when I screamed in Japanese, “WAIT FOR ME IN (said country), YOU”LL SEE ME THERE” (roughly translated).
Trauma brings clarity.
Give yourself its gift.