“Life never happens to you, it happens for you.” -Tony Robbins.
I don’t know anything, so I won’t tell you what I think, but I will tell you the thoughts of people who do know.
If you look at stoicism(if interested please check out Meditations or Letters from a Stoic), they teach the individual to engineer life for growth. A famous saying by the stoics is “The Obstacle is the Way”. So many times when we encounter hardship or suffering we seek to go around whatever lies in our path, or we choose to run away. And we waste our time procrastinating, and busying our minds, until the very last moment, and we are forced to do what we should have since the beginning. We deal with the issue.
There is no use in getting angry. It will not help you solve the problem. In fact, in all likelihood it will hinder your decision making process.
Have you ever noticed that you can freely give advice to someone, but as soon as you need some, your source of wisdom and knowledge is not there? It is because you were an observer. You had a perspective that saw the problem as a whole. When you feel stressed, your view becomes very narrow, and it becomes harder to help yourself.
I have learned that life is precious, and that we shouldn’t waste our precious moments wondering about the useless. If something has passed, allow it to stay in the past. If there is no use to spending your mental energy over a certain issue or memory, then do not waste your life doing so.
You ask where is the lesson in your hardship? Wise men say that the lesson is not within the trauma, but the lesson is the trauma itself.
Be comforted by the fact that you have experienced such an event, and know that you have grown from it. Just because you haven’t seen how immediately, does not mean it is not there.
Move on, and continue to grow and love. That is the answer.